Hope

Could this really be for me?
All I've done is lose 90 pounds. It's not as impossible as people think. I only did what Weight Watchers recommended more often than not, and then waited long enough for it to add up (or drop off, depending on how you look at it). Presto.

I sat in my car in my driveway, staring at the phone in my hand. My iPhone. A gift for reaching my goal weight. I have so much already, why should I get more?

But most of the prizes are things I have wanted...a gym membership I couldn't justify, thinner replacement clothes which weren't in the budget.
The housecleaning--who wouldn't need that? More to the point, I need that.
On the shallow side, I'd wanted a Miche bag for about a year, but not quite enough to fork over the money. That was icing on the can-you-believe-it? cake.

Is it too good to be true? I wondered. I stared out the windshield at my white garage door. When will the other shoe drop? The Lord giveth, right? Should I brace for it to be taken away? Especially since I couldn't deserve it?

Heather had called me an hour before "just because she had a few minutes between classes." She'd seemed oddly guarded or preoccupied. Now I see she had been gauging whether I had been notified yet.

I speed dialed Heather.
"Hello, Jen Kelly!" She said.
I just screamed. That seemed to articulate everything the best.
She squealed in unison.
I laughed, imagining her Squealing-with-Joy expression. It's easy to conjure because I see it so often. It doesn't even matter if she knows you or not, she'll celebrate even the smallest accomplishment.(For example, read her blog about her cheering for someone collecting trash-http://livewithflair.blogspot.com/2010/04/finding-flair-in-trash.html)

It's difficult to mope very long around Heather.

I don't remember most of what we said after that except that she had asked Kelly from BNI why specifically they had selected me as the winning mom. Kelly said it was very hard to choose, but that they liked how I had inspired so many people.

Crap. What exactly did Heather write in that essay?
Who are these inspired people?
What if the BNI people meet me and are disappointed?

"You deserve it." Heather said.
Right. Okay. Whatever.

Clearly, I bring Extreme Insecurity to this Extreme Makeover. Perhaps it's the perfect match :)